Hand me the guitar please

I think I might be at risk of running myself into the ground at the moment. Last night I noticed with great concern that I was thinking about how wonderful it would be if I could just drop out of uni today, quit my job and spend the rest of the year sitting in the park painting and blowing soap bubbles. In the afternoons, I would sit on the porch and play the guitar (yeah, I know, I don't have a porch and I don't have a guitar, but that's not really the point here.) In the evenings, I would have friends over for dinner and in the morning I would sleep in and then get up, make coffee and spend an hour reading the paper. I would spend a lot of time doing nothing. The thought of it gave me this great feeling of peace.

Do you think that sounds nothing like me? Exactely! That's why I'm worried. I generally love being busy and tend to expect from myself that I can handle anything. But it's just been getting too much lately and it looks like there's no end in sight. I've been doing 6-day-weeks of around 45 hours for the last few weeks at work and have been loosing touch with uni. Just thinking about all the work I should be doing and should have been doing for uni makes me feel sick.

When I talk to my mum on the phone I try to not make it sound too bad, but of course she knows what's going on. She knows I'm a perfectionist who's uncomfortable with doing just ok. I wish I could change that and be happy with just getting by, but how the hell do you change the way you are? Paula (who sometimes takes over the role of my mum, seeing that my mum is not here) also tells me that I need to stop taking way more responsibility at work than I need to. When I reply that there is just nobody else at work who can cover the shifts or keep the reception team together, she tells me that's not my problem. Which, I guess, is a very good point, but still no real solution somehow. Plus, I need to make enough money to pay the rent, the bills, my life and uni fees.

Please feel free to tell me that I'm crazy and need to slow the hell down. I promise I will take it on board, but I can't promise that I will be able to change in a hurry. Oh yeah, and if anybody has a spare porch (ideally with a big old wooden house attached to it) or a spare guitar, please let me know. I might drop a shift at work and book myself in for one afternoon per week of porch-sitting and playing the guitar. And I want to wear a white flowing top with it and cowboy boots.