Could you speak up a bit?

When we came into work the other day, someone had left a message on the answering machine. It was an old lady's voice and it went something like this: "Hi, my name is Marie and I'm calling about an event I want to advertise in your newspaper. (Pause.) Hello? Hello? Could you speak a little bit louder, I can barely hear you. Well, anyway, so as I said, I just wanted to inquire about... excuse me? Are you still there? Yes, hello? This is a really bad line, I really can barely hear you! Hello! Are you even listening to me? Hello! Hellloooo! Excuse me Miss, you must speak up, my hearing is not that good anymore.... hello? Are you still there? Helloooo! Have you left the phone? Well, this is really quite rude. Goodbye!"

The poor dear had been speaking to herself for a couple of minutes or so- and all the while was being recorded. We couldn't quite figure out whether she had never actually experienced an answering machine before or what exactely the problem was. But we sure as hell were in absolute stitches.