Please stand back. We've got a little issue here.
Hi guys. Yeah, I'm still here. Sorry I've been a bit quiet lately. It's just that I'm currently in the process of getting pretty freaking emotional about leaving Australia.
Right now, I'm really enjoying just randomly bursting into tears. I've done it twice now in the last ten days or so and it's really growing on me. Both times I was with my boyfriend, the poor dear, who was really a bit perplexed and somewhat unsure about what to do the first time. Which is absolutely fair enough, as I usually tend to have my emotions a bit better under control. I think the second time he got the hang of it and hopefully he is now preparing for further random moments of inexplicable distress on my behalf. I haven't tried it in public yet, but I'm still saving this for later.
And just for the record- I am actually very happy and excited about going to Switzerland. I'm just not excited about leaving Australia.
posted by Bettina at 11:45 PM
9 Comments:
Emotional outburst are allowed. Change brings a lot of pent up stuff to the surface. As we do not delve into every aspect of your life, choices, reasons or emotional stability let me say this...As long as you have a handle on where you are going (Life wise) and what you need to accomplish in your life, go for it. Bettina life is too too short to miss the chance at living life as best you can. You know what the desires of your heart the rest of it is just making the choices you need to make to get there. The tears are a release to keep you from going crazy while you wait...Sometimes you have to let go so that you can grow. I think you are headed to where your heart really belongs. Letting go is tough sometimes, don't let it stop you from where you are suppose to be going. My fee is: Eat a nice chocolate something for me when you get home. Give a hug to someone you truly missed and smile when you think of all the things that make you laugh. You can Yoddle when you feel like it!
March 28, 2008 at 6:11 AM
Sometimes the enormity of change can affect you in strange ways. Randomly bursting into tears is making very good use of the B/F's shoulder (isn't that what they are for after all?)
If he is quick off the mark, he will make the most of the kudos from being of great comfort to you.
March 28, 2008 at 2:43 PM
Why are you leaving? And if you knew you were always leaving, why form relationships above friendship?
March 28, 2008 at 6:01 PM
Mystic- Thank you so much, my wonderful friend. I always love what you say to me. So thank you.
Aggs- That's definitely at least partially what they are there for. And he's been doing a really good job at it!
SJ- Well, Mr Jones, if only life was that easy. If we could just choose relationships when they fit into our life and turn off our feelings when they don't- I guess it would somewhat simplify things but it would also make life boring.
Plus, I'm far from always having known that I was leaving. I have spent six and a half years in Australia over the last nine years and even today, I'm still only going as a trial- to see how I feel when I get there. I'm sure you especially would know how the heart can be torn between two places. It's not just all black and white.
March 28, 2008 at 10:26 PM
Let it out. It's a wonderful feeling because it's loss and love and being grateful all mixed up into one big emotion. If you don't let it spill, you are depriving yourself of something wonderful.
Hugs.
March 29, 2008 at 5:42 AM
When you try the crying in public thing make sure you yell at your boyfriend "you never understand how I feel!" before running out of the restaurant.
March 29, 2008 at 7:11 AM
Beautina,
My expression "fading away" was a play with words in the song, don't worry, it was only my birthday :-D
I can "tune in" what You are experiencing emotionally. I left USA 3 times!!!!! 'Cause I was longing for Sweden. It took me after decided to stay in Sweden, many many years to adjust ... I felt kind of outside. but, after my first kid, I was happy I was a Swede again.
Good Luck and it will be painful which ever way You chose - You are an altruistic soul - and there are no black or whites when it comes to life itself. Remember its the nuances that makes us be humans, and not robots!
Thank You for sharing and caring about us and our concerns about You!
(( hug ))
March 29, 2008 at 5:28 PM
Some places you can't wait to leave while others you will always remember. Stick a kangaroo in your backpack with you so you can take a little bit of Austrailia with ya.
March 31, 2008 at 12:16 PM
Sera- I couldn't agree more with you. Some people don't understand what I mean when I say that I'm sad but it's a beautiful sadness. I'm so grateful for all the wonderful times and I'm glad I am leaving while I still love this place and the people, rather than because I feel I'm running from something.
Cindy-Lou- Hahahaha! I will definitely try that one. Thanks for the tip.
Anna-Lys- Thank you my beautiful friend. I can feel that you understand what I'm going through.
Hugs to you too!
YSB- Don't know what customs are going to say about that. But you can always try!
March 31, 2008 at 9:53 PM
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