The piano has been drinking (not me)

I've been listening to a lot of Tom Waits lately. I'm completely addicted to his CD "The heart of Saturday night". The other day, I listened to "San Diego Serenade" about seven times in a row. Ok, ok, so I get a bit obessive, so what? Anyway, one of my other favourite songs is "The piano has been drinking (not me)." I think it's hilarious. And not only that, it is smart. What a fantastic idea- the man blames the piano for the drinking. I should do things like that more often.

And in fact, that's exactely what I have decided to do. I need to get more creative when blaming others. I'm much too nice, always taking the blame myself when I should. But that's over now. If I don't have a piano at hand, why not blame something else for my drinking, say, my boots? "Man, those boots have been drinking again tonight! They can barely walk straight! Bad, bad boots!" Or: "Look at those stairs, they must have been drinking all night. They are all over the shop." You can of course use this strategy for other situations as well, such as: "Sorry boss, my pillow slept in again this morning." "The bus was hangover and grumpy and refused to stop for me." "My coffee cup was sick this morning."

This opens a whole new world of possibilities. And it's much more fun than "the dog ate my homework."