Go away. I don't want a bigger penis.

E-mail spam is an absolute pain in the arse. We all know that. Some of us are blessed with a good spam filter (thank you, dear Gmail), others just quietly endure the constant harrassment of those who insist we need a much bigger penis (a 10 inch increase, anyone?) an online degree, which will finally give us the respect we deserve (particularly if it is from the university of bullshit.com) and a work-from-home job, which will earn us $2000 a week by just working 10 hours (why we are still stupid enough to work for 40 hours at a ridiculous rate is beyond me).

But while we all hate spam, I do have to admit that I occasionally find the absurdity of it all rather entertaining. All my spam goes into my spam folder, which I am eternally grateful for. However, when I do the occasional spam folder check to make sure no legitimate e-mail accidentally found its way in there, I admit that I often have a quick scan over my many spam e-mails to check whether there are any really funny ones there. Over the last week, I particularly enjoyed the one titled "Enhance your wicked reputation", which was sent to me by Malisa. She says: Your hot secret admirer- Pushing the limits of how large you can be. I have to say I do appreciate her concern that I'm not large enough.

I also love the ones which have a title starting with "re:" to try to trick me into thinking it could be a reply to an e-mail I sent. And particularly if the title is "re: Gaining inches quickly", that's a very cunning plan, as I often send e-mails with a title like that. The e-mail itself is no less disappointing: "Massive even when flaccid- Do not let andropause stop you, keep your hormones going with our herbal help." How good is that- just a bit of herbal help and we all can be massive even when flaccid. Love it.

Arick on the other hand sent me an e-mail where he suggests I give my partner "loving action" and supports his statement with the convincing claim that "new evidence suggests, results are true." Now I always find it hard to resist a claim which is as scientifically proven as this. So thank you, dear spam, to keep me entertained, and to share your real honest concern for the size of my penis. That's the sign of a true friend.