Listen and learn.
I regularly buy myself flowers. I figure I deserve it, and if nobody else is going to get me some, well, then I guess I will just have to do it myself, right? I have a bunch in my lounge room and a couple of flowers in my bedroom at almost all times. I know, it's a cliché, the girl who loves flowers, and I'm probably going to come over all sweet and girlie now and ruin my reputation as a strong and independant woman, but I'm an absolute sucker for flowers. They make me happy. Basically, you give me flowers, preferably regularly, I will love you forever. I think that's a pretty sweet deal.Flowers are definitely the cheapest and easiest way to win a girl's heart, and I don't understand why guys don't use this trick much more often. Most girls I know absolutely melt even just at the sight of a petal and yet men just do not take advantage of the situation. It's like they have this massive ace in their sleeve and just prefer not to use it, "nah, I can't be bothered getting the ace out, I'll be alright just with my shithouse hand of cards here, thanks." I just don't get it.
One of my ex-boyfriends once told me that he is embarrassed to buy flowers, which still makes me laugh. He was a sweetheart and pretty confident generally, but that must have had something to do with his childhood, right? I mean, embarrassed to buy flowers- there has got to be a therapy or something for that. Come to think of it, he was also embarassed to buy condoms, which I could never understand either. I used to say to him, "what are you embarrassed about? The fact that people know you have sex? Jesus, that really is embarrassing. Maybe you should tell the checkout lady that you are only buying them for a friend."
A man who buys flowers automatically gets a hundred bonus points in most girls' books and moves up into an entirely different category of men. It's like, "yeah, he is smart and interesting and funny and cute"- "that's great"- "and he buys me flowers"- "Oh my God! I am so jealous!" So listen and learn, boys. And don't tell me you couldn't use the hundred extra points. Honestly.
posted by Bettina at 11:30 AM
15 Comments:
I caught the tenor of your message..."if you don't bring me flowers, you become an exboyfriend." Mo prefers live plants to cut flowers..you get more enjoyment, for longer periods of time, until you have to weed the garden..
August 21, 2008 at 9:49 PM
Ok, time to give the guy's side of the story.
Last time I bought a girlfriend flowers (around 5 years ago) everyone I knew called me a dick for doing it, and she told me it made me seem a bit creepy. I haven't bought flowers for a girl since, and seriously doubt I ever will again.
August 21, 2008 at 10:52 PM
Mystic- That's not true at all, my friend. You make me sound like a flower nazi! Not like that at all!
SJ- Jesus Christ, what sort of people do you hang out with? Your friends called you a dick and your girlfriend called you creepy for buying flowers? Excuse my language, but what a rude bitch. That's one of the worst things I've heard in a while. Making people feel bad for being nice. I feel like kicking their arses.
August 21, 2008 at 11:31 PM
Working in shipping and receiving, I receive floral arrangements on a regular basis. I have to deliver them to the residents in my facility. I feel like the pied piper with the way the women flock to me while I am carrying them.
One day, one of the ladies that I work with said, "Nobody ever sends me flowers." She sounded depressed, so I replied, "I'll send you flowers." She got really excited.
Now, I am a poor college student, I make next to nothing monetarily, and spend more than I make on my education. Money, even for flowers is hard to come by. So, I went online, found a whole lot of pictures of really cool arrangements, cut and pasted them into an email and sent them to her that way. She was so excited, that she still has one of the arrangements as her desktop background on her computer.
Now for the ugly side. Back when I was married I would, on occasion, buy my wife flowers. Not very often. I wanted it to be special. People take things for granted if it happens all the time. When she would get flowers, she would ask, "What did you do?" I never once bought her flowers to make up for anything, yet from past relationships, she was always weary of flowers.
It can go both ways with those fragarant ornaments.
August 22, 2008 at 12:50 AM
Yeah, she's not my girlfriend any more :)
August 22, 2008 at 5:48 AM
Larry- I like the idea with the virtual flower bunches. Proves the point that you don't have to have money to do nice things.
But it seems there are a few flower traumas around... Jee, and I thought it was a really innocent subject.
SJ- And thank God for that.
August 22, 2008 at 6:51 AM
Not sure why but I loved this post!
Maybe 'cause it's spot on. Or maybe 'cause your ex-boyfriend story made me laugh...
In any case, thanks :)
Ps. Is that a picture of the new lounge room???? Looks fantastic!
August 22, 2008 at 6:20 PM
You must be the smartest woman I know, Ms Bettina!!!
I buy myself flowers too! I also make sure fresh flowers are in my guest room for company.
I think its an easy way to say "I make an effort because I care"
Now if Mr B could figure out how to buy a few flowers for me :)
Cheers Bella!
August 23, 2008 at 2:12 AM
i'd be insulted if he said he's buying flowers "for a friend" (much less the condoms he's embarrassed about buying). what was he, like fifteen years old?
August 23, 2008 at 4:03 AM
Imogen- Thank you my dear. I'm glad you concur. And yeah, that is my new lounge room. I love it, love it, love it!
Blitheroo- Why, thank you Ms Blither, but that's too much praise for a simple little girl like me. Oh, and can I come and stay in your guest room with the fresh flowers sometime?
Sera- He was actually a really good guy. I guess that was just his weak spot.
August 23, 2008 at 8:54 AM
Easier all round to buy them for yourself ... no hidden messages that way. Or would I get suspicous of myself??
August 23, 2008 at 5:21 PM
I guess that's kind of the message I'm getting here. With all these traumatised men and multi-layered messages, maybe I should just keep on getting them for myself.
August 23, 2008 at 7:09 PM
Flowers are the most beautiful things to give. They are brilliant, then they vanish away after their lifespan , then land on the compost - or the trash, whatever is yours.
A wonderful metaphor of the cycle of life: Youth, beauty, maturity, decay, composting.
Condoms might be a necessity, but flowers are eternal.
August 24, 2008 at 1:01 AM
if you continue to buy flowers for yourself, eventually he will get the hint.
maybe. maybe not.
August 24, 2008 at 8:54 AM
I love a man who would buy me flowers. I am not even picky I'll take any kind. I am just like you I love love love flowers and I am a sucker for a guy who buys them! M
August 26, 2008 at 11:12 AM
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