Watch the hotness per square meter

I just have to tell this story. It's too good to not be told. I laughed my ass off. Paula, Michelle, Phil and me went to this friend's party the other day. Paula, Michelle and me live together and we are best friends too. Yeah, I know, it's kind of disgustingly sweet the way we are friends and go out together and live together and are just like one happy little family and still get along. But that's just the kind of people we are. Disgustingly sweet, I mean.

Anyway, so we got ready for this party and ended up all looking particularly hot. Not that we don't usually do, but it just so happened that we all had a completly different look but all looked pretty snappy in our own ways. Paula was the funky child, with a very colourful dress, flat black suede boots, a denim jacket and a black hat. I was doing the "I don't have to show skin to look hot" thing, with jeans, boots, a white top and my yellow leather jacket. Michelle had the "excuse me, would you please get out of my way, I'm out to kill tonight" look, with a little black dress, purple boots and a purple jacket. Yep, we had it going on. Phil looked pretty good too, by the way, but that's kind of beside the point- I just thought I should mention it as not to offend him.

We got to the party, which was on a roof top, and proceeded to get pretty drunk. Which reminds me that the night actually produced another hilarious story that would be so worth telling, but I think Michelle might kill me if I did, so I will leave it at that.

Anyway. When we were all happy little drunks being silly and having a grand old time, Paula came over to me and said, "You know me, I'm not arrogant. You do know that, don't you? (in brackets: I do) And neither are you or Michelle. But let's just cut the crap here for a moment and let's be realistic. How hot are we? I mean if you measured the hotness per square meter in our apartment, it would just go through the roof. I know, people are not meant to say this about themselves, but fuck it, let's just get straight to the point here. We are just disgustingly hot."

We were basically rolling on the floor laughing. We thought it was the funniest thing in the history of the universe. Yep, that's right, we not only think we are hot, we also think we are hilarious. At least we can entertain ourselves.



Unfortunately, we didn't take any photos that night, but here are a couple of other ones of the three of us.

You don't say!

You know I'm a sucker for funny headlines. I thought I might share a few today for your general amusement:


Include Your Children When Baking Cookies

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say

Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

War Dims Hope for Peace

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Space

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors



And here is one of my personal favourites:

I confess, I have been bad

Ok, shoot me now. I had McDonalds yesterday. For those of you who don't know me very well, you probably wouldn't quite understand what that means. I'm vegetarian (although I do eat fish and seafood). In my fridge you will usually find organic milk, feta, pumpkin, spinach, cherry tomatoes, smoked salmon, blueberries, organic yoghurt and butter, fresh fruit juice, olives, fresh ravioli, date chutney, camembert, blue cheese, broccoli and haloumi (as well as lots of wine and chocolate, but that's beside the point here). You get the idea. I don't do McDonalds. Except in extreme emergency situations or situations absolutely beyond my control. Both of which mean the same: When I'm really drunk at 3am in the morning and nothing else is open. It happens. That's fine. But yesterday I had McDonalds by choice. Now that's a worry. And I'm not sure why I'm confessing this to the world here as I'm kind of embarassed about it, but I think I needed a cleansing confession. To my defense, I would like to say that I was in a rush between work and evening tutorial at uni and just needed something quick and filling. But then again, I could have had a sandwich or noodles. Yet I chose to have McDonalds. A fish burger and a medium fries for dinner. Because I felt like it. Ok, dear God, you can take me straight to hell now.

Anyway, apart from the fact that I betrayed my oh-so-organic heart, the one thing that most irritates me is that McDonalds is so full of shit. Does anyone else find it absolutely hilarious that the new McDonalds slogan is "Because you are what you eat"? Ahem, yeah... sure. I am what I eat and I choose to eat McDonalds because I want to be a rubber-cross-cardboard tasting imitation bun made with a lovely mix of genetically modified wheat and E345 and E452 and with some greasy garbage meat thrown in there to create a cholesterol and fat loaded piece of junk. That sounds like me.

Now that's the kind of work I don't mind doing

I've just come back from a Champagne Taittinger tasting this afternoon. I had about four glasses of champagne and now I'm supposed to keep on working? That's really a bit much to ask for. I think I should be sent home to do some more champagne research.

Yeah, those are the perks of the job.

Don't rub me the wrong way today

If you had one wish free today, what would you wish for? I realise I should be politically correct and wish for world peace, but right now, I just want it to be friggin November and my degree to be over and no more study til 1am nights and get up early the next morning and look like shit and pretend I'm great and there's nowhere I'd rather be than at work. I want a job which is as challenging as the one I have now but less time consuming and stressful and with no pain in the arse clients and dramas that I worry about on the weekend. A job from which I can go home at 5pm like a friggin normal person and drink a glass of wine and cook some pasta or go for dinner with friends or chill out in front of the TV with popcorn. And what the hell, I also want a few months paid holiday to travel and do sweet nothing. Alright, I admit that was more than one wish. I'm sure you've already gathered that I'm kind of over it today.

Poor chicken

A chicken and an egg lie in bed, smoking a cigarette each. The egg looks very satisfied, however, the chicken looking unsatisfied mumbles to herself: "Well, that settles that debate."