Eight things that will make you happy

1. Drink more red wine

Not only is red wine the holy juice, tastes bloody fantastic and makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, it is also good for you. Or, as my good friend Ashley says, "if a glass of red wine is good for you, imagine how good a bottle must be." I like his way of thinking.








2. Get obsessed with something

I love getting obsessed with stuff, it is so much fun. I'm obsessed with belts, Leabrook wines, blue cheese, music, magazines, coffee, shoes, banana-raspberry smoothies, my rose-scented body lotion and bookshops. Try it with some objects of your choice. It's good.





3. Practise randome acts of kindness

Smile at a stranger. Tell the check-out lady you love her hair. Cuddle your dog. Give your friend's teddy a pat on the back. They might be freaked out, but it feels good.







4. Buy a scooter

Believe me, when it comes to having fun you just cannot go past scooters. They are toys for grown ups. They will make you scream with laughter and feel like a child all over again. To increase the fun factor, you might want to try to ride inbetween cars to the front of the lane and when you get there, laugh and wave at the cars which are stuck in traffic.



5. Be irresponsible

I just decided this morning to go on a one week snowboard holiday with five friends in New Zealand at the end of August. It's going to cost me an absolute bloody fortune, will probably financially ruin my life and I had to promise the travel agent my first born child to pay for it. But who cares? I know this is something I will always remember. And looking back onto my life in ten or twenty years' time, what will be more important: an unforgettable week of fun and amazing memories or a bit more money (and a stupid first born child)? See.

(By the way, this method of making decisions can get you into trouble. But if you don't mind, it's a lot of fun too.)

6. Dance like a maniac

It's scientifically proven (by me) that dancing makes you happy. Especially if you don't care how you look when you do it. So go absolutely insane, shake that bootie, spin around the room like a maniac and dance your ass off so much that you scare little children and small animals. It's liberating.

7. Have some chocolate cake

Starving yourself or depriving yourself of everything will admittedly make you skinny. But it will also make you grumpy and I say life is too short for that. Chocolate cake makes you happy and happy makes you beautiful. So go ahead, have another piece. You know you want to.

8. Be childish

Being childish is good for you. Kids have more fun. They don't give a rat's ass about what other people think. Play a trick on your brother, wear a pair of underpants on your head, giggle like a child in the bus with your friend or attack your boyfriend from behind when he's not looking and throw him to the ground. If he's got any sense of humour, he will agree that it was funny.

You people read this post

Accidental humour is my favorite. My receptionist and me laughed so hard at some of these photos that we had tears running down our faces, were gasping for air, rolling on the ground and incapable of answering the phone when it rang. So please take a deep breath before you read on. You might loose some of your dignity.



I hear the guys really like this deck.





It's an acquired taste.





Nobody likes parking lot number 2 and 3.





So... do you like stuff? I love stuff.





Yeah... you could really use it. Really.





Thanks for that. I guess that's the main thing.





That's a shame. I guess that's much like humans.





At last there's a place you can go to if your wife has kicked you out.





But can we at least still have soy?





Ahem... ok.





Really? I didn't know that.





Was I too loud?





You lady do as you are told.





Whatever it takes. As long as you are really annoying.




You never know when you need one.

The smoking coat

It's freezing cold here. Whatever happened to global warming? I hear it's for real, but certainly not over here at the moment. It's been so cold that I had to take out the smoking coat- and that's serious. Once the smoking coat comes out of the wardrobe, you bet your ass the temperatures must have hit arctic zones.

Or maybe I'm just a wimp. People always expect me not to get cold, just because I'm from Switzerland. "What? You are cold? But you are from Switzerland!", they say, with this "you freak!" look on their faces. What's up with that? We get cold in Switzerland too, because believe it or not, we are also made from flesh and blood. Generally. We just have well insulated houses and good central heating. And we put on beanies and gloves and scarves. And smoking coats. Ok, I hear you say, what the hell is a smoking coat? Well, I'm not talking about a "smoking jacket", which is one of those old fashioned ugly velvet coats in which old men would sit around and smoke pipes and scratch their balls and talk about hunting. My smoking coat is just a big fluffy warm coat with fake fur trims, which is too warm to wear 98% of the time in Queensland. In one of our old houses where we had a little backyard we used to wear it to go outside and have a cigi. That's how it became the smoking coat, the poor dear. One of my friends calls it my pimp coat, but don't listen to him. My coat is not pimpy, ok.

Other people, by the way, have entirely different definitions for smoking coats again. In an article about smoking and breast feeding, they recommend the mother to "wear a smoking coat- some article of clothing that you cover up with when you smoke," so the baby would not have to smell the smokey clothes.

The pediatric asthma experience journal, on the other hand, encourages smoking parents to "use a smoking coat or jacket when they go outside to smoke."

Further google research revealed that apparently the following items also qualify as smoking coats.

This is scary:


And this will more than likely give me nightmares:



I don't know what the hell this is, but it's not good:



This jacket has lungs that go black as you smoke. What a charming idea:



Now what's really disturbing is the fact that increasingly, pets seem to be smoking these days. And this is what their smoking jackets look like:



And the ones for your futuristic smoking dog:



Or the suggar daddy version:



What's wrong with the world?

Wine, wine, wine. And also some wine.

Well, I hit that exam on the head with a hammer on Saturday and knuckled it down until it was lying on the floor crying and begging for forgiveness. I looked at it with a mean smile and said, well, you should have thought about this earlier. Maybe some consideration would have been nice, but instead you have been nothing but evil. Now it's too late. Then I spat on it, left the building, grabbed three friends and hit the road for a girls' weekend away. Thank God that semester is over.

We were off to Stanthorpe, the wine capital of Queensland, which by coincidence also happens to be the capital of the freezing cold weather. The weekend was legendary. Imagine one energetic Brazilian, one hilarious Malaysian, one crazy Peruvian and one, well, slightly insane Swiss and a car called Froggy, all on a mission to have one hell of a good time. Not so sure about poor Froggy who was a bit short on breath and low on oil at times, but the rest of us certainly had a ball. Throw some winery tours into the equation, tons of good food, lots of beanies, scarves and warm coats, some random singing and some very strange dancing, lots and lots of red wine and a bit of rum and you get the idea.

After a time of great insanity and inhumane amounts of work, a weekend of freedom and fun with the girls was just what the doctor had ordered for me. My lips were permanently stained from the red wine, my stomach muscles were sore from all the laughing and the happy smile remained on my face even when I slept. Whereever we went, we were greated by welcoming people- even the dogs were friendly and would spin around in circles and dance for us. We let the good times roll and the wine flow- and here are some pictures for show and tell.



Beautiful.




Beautiful.




Beautiful.



Wine...




More wine...




And some more wine...




Me and the blackies- I never realised how white I am.




Braving the cold in our winter gear. Thank God we're naturally hot.




Although... sometimes even that didn't help.




Thank God the wine never failed to warm us up.




Unfortunately, the photos of our late night wine orgy need to be censored. I know you want to see them and they are hilarious, but unfortunately, it's not possible. Sharon would kill me. Sorry... better luck next time.

This is not a post

Apparently I'm not allowed to post anything before the weekend. Says Michelle. Because I have a massive assignment due tomorrow and a massive exam on Saturday and still have lots to do for it. I've been working so much that I have not had enough time to do uni work. I'm taking tomorrow Friday off work to do some last minute panic studying.

That's why I should not be blogging. Because blogging is procrastinating. But I'm at work now, so that's not technically procrastinating. Plus, this isn't even a post anyway. I just came here to say that I'm not allowed to post. I think that's fair enough.

She thinks she's, like, sooo funny and stuff

Speaking of me being hilarious. I cracked myself up last night (again- I know. All that laughing has GOT to stop). I'm actually not particularly funny, from a general point of view, but I'm kind of goofy sometimes and I make myself laugh. And that's the main thing. Never mind you people out there, you can make yourself laugh or you can join in on one of my lame jokes if you wish. And they go a little bit something like this.

My friend Tristan, who is actually genuinely funny, but I don't usually tell him that because, you know, we don't want to make the boys vain, sent me a text message last night. It was something random (his messages are always random) and then he threw in, just to make me jealous, that he was drinking a bloody 1984 or whatever the hell it was port. Because we both love wine and he thought it was funny to mention that he was living it up while I was studying. I replied something to the effect of: "Good for you. I'm drinking too, by the way. A 2007 Peppermint Tea. Sophisticated structure, with an exuberant nose of goose berries and hints of crisp minerals, leather, peach and pencil shavings. Surprisingly persistent finish.”

I couldn’t stop laughing. I’m so funny.