Does this jacket make me look fat?

No, seriously, you can tell me.

Smokin' a whole lotta nothing

That's me smoking a pencil. They're not bad actually, you know. A bit boring maybe, but then again, they're quite healthy, I hear. As long as you don't eat them of course. It's the only thing I've been smoking for the last seven weeks.

And now would be a good time for a little round of applause.

Now I know I shouldn't be saying this. I should say how fantastic I feel and that I'm so much fitter and happier and all that. But to be quite honest, I don't feel much different at all. Alright, it's only been seven weeks, but the problem is most likely that I felt good before. And I feel good now. Not that this is really a problem, it's obviously good to feel good. But I need some more motivation. I feel like something is missing from my life but it hasn't been replaced with anything else. Some people tell me to eat chocolate or chew gum instead, but come on. How dumb do you think I am? Smoking was a little ritual for me, eating gum hardly is. And as much as I like chocolate, it makes you fat if you have it all the time. And while before I could go and have a smoking break from studying, I don't feel like just going to sit there for five minutes and chew on a friggin' piece of gum.

So to all you good and righteous people out there, please tell me how it is. Please set me straight and tell me how evil smoking is and that it makes people unattractive and rotten from the inside and that their lungs melt and then they die a slow painful death. Tell me stuff like that, stuff that will really gross me out and keep me going.

Probably the one thing I have started to notice now though is that a lot of smokers stink. And I don't. I love that. When my friend Dan gets into the car after smoking a cigarette it's like an ashtray enters the car. I didn't use to notice that much before.

But yeah, apart from that, I haven't really noticed an improvement in my life. The fact that I quite ironically also have a really bad cough at the moment probably doesn't help either.

So I beg you my friends. Help me out here, tell me how disgraceful, pathetic and disgusting smoking is. But do it well please, I don't buy cheap propaganda.

There's something fishy about this

I was planning to go to the supermarket tonight after work and get a few groceries. However, when I approached the shop, I quickly changed my mind.

The attack of the dangling modifiers

For those of you who think that my life is one big party, please take a moment to share my pain and get a little insight into some of the less glamorous moments in my humble little life.

It's quarter to one in the morning, my eyes are burning like hell and all I want is to curl up in a corner and sleep. My brain is numb and at this very moment, I think I have just forgotten everything I read over the last few hours. Which is a shame, because it was so entertaining.

I guess you could say it was kind of a romance slash adventure story. It involved compound-complex sentences (a bit raunchy, I know), adjective prepositional phrases (they're the bad guys) and a few reciprocal pronouns (awww, so cute!). They story was flowing along quite nicely with a few twists and turns until the dangling modifiers (obviously pure evil) entered the scene and it all got quite ugly. One reciprocal pronoun got killed (shot in the head) and a compound-complex sentence was kidnapped and injured quite badly (its mother is still being treated for shock). Later on it turned out that before it went to the dark side, one of the dangling modifiers used to hang out with a base-form predicate adjective. Which is quite amazing, considering the base-form predicate adjective (which is very attractive, by the way) later on became a devout Catholic. The sad thing was, it turned up on the scene of the crime, trying to talk some sense into the dangling modifier and ended up getting stabbed too. Definitely not a happy end.

My flat mate is watching a comedy show on TV in the room next door and laughing her ass off. If only she knew how much more fun she could have with English grammar. I can't wait for that exam. Looks like I'm gonna ace that one.

Seven nutcases in New Zealand. A little travel story.

And they're on the road! First stop for brekkie on the way from Christchurch to Wanaka. All seems to be just wonderful. However, we have already had one girl kicked off the plane (as she was on standby) and catching up with us later, one suitcase left behind by the airline, traces of cocaine found on one girl's handbag (although she has never tried it in her life) and the dramas are not quite over yet.

Next up: Matty cops a speeding fine. We're thinking that's about enough now. And thank God it is. The rest of the holiday is all sweet songs, choclate cakes and fluffy kittens.

And the trip continues... G Lama and Teeny Weeny share a moment.


Our new home for the next week! Stunning, with spa, sauna, fireplace... of course, only the best will do for us.

Our little G Lama is enjoying a port while she tells a story involving two little girls, overdrive and some kind of disease... I think. Fascinating.

Vegging out after a day of snowboarding... good times.

Snowboarding! I didn't realise how much I missed it... We were on the slopes every day from 9am to 4pm without fail. Oh bliss. No broken bones or bad injuries, thank God. But I did bring home a few good bruises.

Beautiful New Zealand.


It's a bit like Switzerland, only different.



My birthday dinner, lovingly cooked by my wonderful holiday crew.

The girls are getting ready for a night on the town.

Take us to where the party is rockin' Mr Taxi Driver!

It's my birthday and we'll dance til the morning comes yeah...


Snowboarding was quite painful the day after my birthday... but that didn't deter us from going out again a couple of days later to bust some more moves on the dance floor.

Group photo with hats.

Time to go home. Another road trip back to Christchurch. I can't believe the holiday is over already.

No, I'm not pregnant, I just ate well this week, ok?

Handing in the car. The holiday is over. But the next one is planned already. We're thinking Canada or Switzerland.

The return of Bettina (with a few bruises)

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I'm back! Who knows if anyone gives a rat's ass but I quite like being under the illusion that I have been missed terribly, that my return has been awaited eagerly by everyone and that your lives have been empty without me. So go on and tell me some sweet lies, my dear friends. I'll pay you later.

My holiday was absolute gold- we had the time of our lives. The transition from fun filled holiday back to the real world however was a bit rough as reality picked me up straight from the airport and kicked me in the guts. And then topped it off with a little slap in the face just to make sure that I knew I was definitely back. Isn't that thoughtful? I was home Sunday night at about 8pm, unpacked my stuff, did some laundery, had some food and then proceeded to work on two uni presentations which were scheduled for Monday and Tuesday until 1.30am.

Work has also been somewhat insane and I'm still working through the 1.5 million e-mails and messages that have piled up while I was away. But enough of the complaining now. I had a absolutely fantastic holiday so obviously it seems nothing but fair that I need to be punished for it now. So please keep it going, dear reality, don't hold back. I can handle it.

For some of our legendary holiday stories and a little photo display of our craziness, check back here in a couple of days.